closer appear to be remote

Rihanna - Take A Bow Found at abmp3 search engine

似乎有些時間沒有仔細地來這裡敘寫過文字了.
感覺起來已經有點陌生，看得懂的，看不懂的也似乎淡漠.
最近狂愛R&B,迷戀Rihanna,Ne-Yo，Robin Thicke,Enrique Iglasias etc.
幾乎每天晚上回到家中都要打開音響瘋狂地跟著CD機狂亂一個半小時，然後健身一個半小時，三個小時出去之後剩下濕漉漉的衣服，脫掉，洗澡，睡覺，慶幸不再失眠，儘管還有一點心理陰影.
有時候暗自還為16樓的居民擔憂，早晨進電梯在16樓停的時候故意不能讓人看出我是17樓的，就是這樣，反而很解氣，很輕鬆，很愉悅

11號去廣州，給弟弟找了份在白雲機場的工作，於是乎又是要和許多的前輩吃飯，請客吃飯，其實對於我來說這種應酬的場面雖然參加了不算很少，但是卻是極其的厭惡

我喜歡餓了就狼吞虎咽，懶吃就少吃點，厭惡那種客套的做作飯局方面，似乎我們中國人就喜歡這樣子，但願Mr.Gong永遠不要有機會閱讀到這篇文章，呵

然後15號左右去深圳，20號過去北京，清明節要去長沙，然後回老家 屆時，估計又得是20多天的時間在外面漂泊，厭惡了這樣的生活，討厭沒完沒了的事情，有時候想想為什么生活就不能一個人自個快樂地活著，似乎活了20多年了還從來沒有為自己活過，為別人而活著，或許哪天跳樓的話估計也不用去猜測那動機會是什麼

Recently will my temperament very be always big, why does not talk clearly, will flush the person ignition inexplicably, what especially is been restless oneself was I very wants to fight suddenly with the human, breaks the head, inferred the blood. Has the violence tendency. What which has buried innermost feelings sorrowful too long needs to release? Strange ......

Who know,want to diy,dying or what things that I am feeling to do....No Job, No sex,No food,No...many,,,much.Shit.Don't now,Swear

Come closer and control me,want to be controled by somebody

Suddenly. May not be all of a sudden, but rather deliberate for a long time, and Want to give up my now jobs, give up everything around me.

Destination was Tokyo or New York ,Perhaps to one of these two places to learn, learning music, performance, and perhaps learn others, perhaps simply do nothing, as long as where I can earn to the meal, and like a hungry stomach, a years after the return, or come back after three years, and perhaps how like? Fantasy?

Or will it make such a decision is unlikely to But why then the depression, who knows, never did not like to plan, and perhaps someday and actually do it, and then we ordered to give myself a big cake, and then to celebrate a person,] there may be...perhaps have somebody to accompany me, , or I tied up and not let oneself came to share it.want or......